No matter what anyone says, the college application process isn’t just stressful for students, but also for their parents. With so many deadlines, requirements, and decisions to keep track of, the process of supporting your student’s college aspirations can often feel overwhelming even for the best prepared. As a parent, you naturally want to provide the best support to your child, but you also want them to take ownership of this important process. If you’re struggling to walk that line, you’ve come to the right place.
1. Start Early and Create a Timeline
Start talking about college options with your student well before application deadlines. Too often we’ve seen parents and students kick that can too far down the road. Together, were recommend that you create a timeline that includes all the important parts like standardized tests, application deadlines, and school visits. A schedule will help manage the workload, reduce last-minute stress, and ideally keep you both on top of what needs done.
2. Research College Options Together
We find that it’s important to encourage your student to explore a range of colleges that align with their interests, academic strengths, and career goals. As a parent, while it’s important to provide suggestions, the final choice should still reflect your student’s preferences. Researching colleges together can start conversations that make sure you’re both on the same page when making college plans.
3. Encourage Realistic Goal Setting
Help your student identify a range of colleges where they have a realistic chance of admission, including safety, match, and reach schools. Helping with college essays and applications is great, but if your student is only applying to schools out of their reach, it might put all of this valued effort to waste. Consider the admitted student profile, the rigor of curriculum, and reviews from current students. Does the environment realistically suit your student?
4. Encourage Independence
At the end of the day, the college application process is your child’s responsibility and a great measure of who is ready to attend university. As you go through this process as a family, try to encourage them to take ownership where possible. Some great places to start are: researching colleges, drafting essays, and managing deadlines mostly on their own. Your role should be supportive and guiding rather than micromanaging– even if that is easier said than done.
5. Be Informed About Financial Aid
It helps to have a clear picture of your family’s financial situation. Without it, it’ll be a challenge to guide your student toward colleges that fit within budget. This is something they likely can’t do on their own as much as they might think they can. Make sure to discuss the financial aspects with your child openly so they understand the reality of paying for college and you don’t need to turn down an offer down the line.
6. Be Ready for Campus Visits
Campus visits are easily the most important factor in helping your student assess the environment, culture, and overall vibe of potential colleges. College tours are the icing on the cake of deciding whether or not you’ll call a campus home, and believe it or not, it is possible to do a campus visit wrong. When you’re able, accompany your student on these trips, but let them take the lead. Push your student to ask questions during the information session and on the way home, ask them about their opinions on the college— what they liked and disliked about each school. A post-visit discussion can help clarify impressions, but over time can also help you understand your student’s preferences.
7. Provide Essay Feedback Without Overwriting
Essays are a super important part of the college application, and generally where most parents go wrong. It’s tempting to poke your nose into the essay process and rewrite, and while it’s important to provide constructive feedback, avoid rewriting or injecting your voice into your student’s work. College application readers know when they’re reading something written by an adult as opposed to a teen— and it won’t help them in the long run. Encourage your student to get in touch with their authentic self and offer suggestions to improve clarity, structure, and coherence, but never— absolutely ever— re-write.
8. Help Manage Stress and Anxiety
The application process can be overwhelming. I’m sure we don’t need to tell you that! So take the chance to be supportive and attentive to your student’s emotional well-being. Encourage healthy stress management practices like regular exercise, proper sleep, and relaxation.
Remind your student that while college decisions can feel significant, they aren’t the final say in success. College application season should not be detrimental to your student’s self esteem, and the role of a parent shouldn’t be to make that worse. Remember that it is okay to put your application aside for the day and take a break! It can help you return to it with a clear mind, prepared to work, and free from anxiety.
9. Maintain Open Communication
Don’t leave your student out in the rain. Make sure that you check in with them often throughout the process. Listen to their concerns, offer encouragement, and help them navigate challenges calmly. It’s easy to let things get out of hand, but being available to answer questions and share your experiences will create a supportive atmosphere where they feel confident seeking help.
10. Celebrate Them No Matter What
Regardless of what the final result is, acknowledge and celebrate your student. College application season is stressful, the very last thing they’ll need is to go through the entire process just to have a disappointed support system on the other side. There is so much life after college! Remind them of that. Whether or not your student gets into their top choice, the ivies, or your top choice— they still did something hard and deserve to be praised. Your student’s resilience, adaptability, and determination will be more valuable than any acceptance letter, so help them recognize that!
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