College Essay Writing Tips: Finding Your Opening Hook!

What Defines You?

“I can’t think of ONE story that defines me,” my student laments as I explain the concept of a “hook” in our personal statement brainstorming session. “I haven’t saved whales or changed my company culture or rescued orphans….”

And yet, that is exactly the point! Since nobody is defined by one story, your challenge in a personal statement is not to single out the best possible moment of your life, but to show yourself in action. When you do this, readers can’t help but read on, eager to hear how you got there and where you are headed.

Your essay doesn’t have to be about the time you cured cancer or ran with the bulls in Spain. It can be as everyday as a lacrosse practice spent laughing with your teammates, a trip to the park with your dog, or digging up seashells with your brothers, as long as you tell it like a story that reveals something about yourself.

Imagine an admissions officer with thousands of applications to review every season and perhaps 10 to review in the hour before lunch. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could both entertain and show something about who you actually are? Why should he dig deeper into this essay? How could she imagine you as a member of the community next fall?

When I lived in Italy, I ran with feral dogs…

This was the eye-catching first sentence of a successful personal statement about a student’s terror on a training run, preparing for her off-season college sport while studying abroad, and how her thoughts and emotions that day represent qualities she most values in herself. This hook gave her an excellent jumping-off point, from which she went on to discuss her perseverance, organization, and delight in solving puzzles—all qualities that made her a great candidate for law school.

I had taken a right at African horticulture and a left at 20th Century American farm tools, but beyond that, my mind was drawing a blank as I tried to retrace my steps.

Another student’s personal statement starts with her lost in the Library of Congress and then goes on to tell about her journey to writing her senior thesis on Virginia Woolf, describing how this had both steered her towards and perfectly prepared her for graduate school.

One student felt strongly that one of his favorite things to do was go to McDonalds with his friends, and he wanted that represented in his essay. He wasn’t himself without McDonalds, and he wrote an essay that started with a mouth-watering description of a crispy chicken nugget but developed into a beautiful essay about struggle, comfort, and what it means to be part of a community. 

Driving to McDonalds at midnight, we weren’t just a group of teenagers fueled by the promise of milkshakes and fries. That night, beneath the fluorescent glow and the sizzle of burgers, I found a slice of freedom, and a taste of growing up. 

Doesn’t that grab your attention so much more than: “I love to go to Mcdonalds and laugh with my friends”?

Successful hooks have no formula or rules aside from grabbing the reader’s attention. Whether you are writing a personal statement for law school, composing the 5300 character essay required for the medical school AMCAS application, the 650 word Common App Personal Statement, or answering Stanford’s “What Matters to you most and why?” as you apply to their Graduate School of Business.

When an individual incarcerated for a violent crime asks you to smuggle a message out of prison for them, the answer should be no.

Doesn’t that just make you want to read more?

Does Your Writing Reel People In?

Do you want to read more? Do you get a sense that this is an intriguing applicant? This was the beginning of a successful application to that Stanford question above – the student is a Stanford JD/MBA. Ultimately, her essay explained that her family mattered most to her. But the opening hook – about analyzing the risk of helping a father, seeing him as an individual rather than a criminal – was central to the message. By describing that moment, she conveyed meaningful insight into who she is and why.

During a brainstorming meeting, Marks Education Educational Advisors  encourage students to start by telling us about themselves. What do you read? What do you do for fun? What is the funniest/scariest/most meaningful thing that has happened to you in the last 5 years? That hour usually produces great ideas for the stories you want to tell, reflecting who you are and how you might explain yourself in the limited words allowed by each admissions essay. The key always is – as my high school English teachers hammered into me years ago – “Show, don’t Tell.” Don’t tell readers that you are smart, engaged, analytical, hard-working, or creative. Show them through stories of yourself in action.

Try these personal statement brainstorming exercises to help you find your college essay opening hook!

Essay Writing Exercise 1: 

List 5-10 objects that hold significance in your life. These could be physical items, places, or even abstract concepts. For each, write a brief explanation of its importance and how it relates to your character or experiences. This exercise can unearth symbolic elements of your life that encapsulate deeper stories, potentially serving as compelling hooks. 

Essay Writing Exercise 2: 

Think of a moment in your life that felt particularly vivid, intense, or transformative. It could be a moment of realization, challenge, joy, or discovery. Write a short, descriptive paragraph capturing this moment in as much detail as possible, focusing on your senses, emotions, and thoughts. These snapshot moments can often provide a powerful entry point into your personal narrative.

Essay Writing Exercise 3: 

Imagine alternate scenarios for key events or decisions in your life by asking “What if?” For example, “What if I had not joined the debate team?” or “What if I chose a different project for the science fair?” Reflect on how these alternate scenarios could have changed your path or perspective. This can help identify pivotal moments in your life that highlight your resilience, curiosity, or other strengths. 

Essay Writing Exercise 4: 

Write down a list of values that are important to you, such as courage, creativity, leadership, or compassion. For each value, recall a specific instance when you embodied or were challenged by this value. These stories can serve as strong foundations for your essay, illustrating your character through actions rather than assertions.

This reflective process can lead to discovering an opening hook that not only grabs attention but also genuinely represents who you are. Remember, the most captivating hooks are those that offer a glimpse into your unique perspective and journey. Once you’ve found your hook, you’re well on your way to crafting an essay that stands out in the admissions process. 

Are you ready to get started? If you are interested in a brainstorming session or one of the other services offered by our counselors at Marks Education, please get in touch with us! Let’s start shaping your unforgettable college essay together!